Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A true blahg

This is something that I posted recently on my parenting board and I wanted to x-post it here. It is regarding kid's activities and when enough is enough...

It is OK to set limits... at least that's what I'm telling myself. I'm feeling very stressed lately and I'm trying to decide if we really are doing too much or if I just need to up my game.

we have

* Tea's dance clas 2x a week - and they are performance based so then quite a few driving around town to diff venues to perform :twitch I'm also supposedly the parent committee president but I'm stepping down after this year.

* Cam on teen committee, its a drop off but it conflicts with her dancing so I have to think about it weekly and organize the pick up of him while I'm dealing with her

* HS meeetings but they are only 1x a month so thats easy peasy

* Cam bowling league 1x a week

* Chess 1x a week, might move into 2

* Ice Skating which I think we have officially ditched gah

* he was just invited to go play heroscape every friday with other hs boys

* I make all of our bread products from scratch and try to make dinner pretty much every night of the week, it gets dicey on Tues/Wed because those are longer days and I'm usually gone until after or right at dinner - I'm making soups this week so I can do them early.

* my biz is expanding irl and online and I need time at home to keep up and get ahead so I can stock the stores that want to sell my stuff.

* my podcast 2x a week which is honestly one of the few things that keep me sane.

I know it's not that much but some of it is the timing of the activities and I think I need to work on time management. I really feel inferior compared to some of the Super Moms I know and I don't know why I'm having such a hard time of it all.

:paranoia Wow, that was a big ol vent. Sorry...
this has just been weighing on me a lot this week and I sort of gushed. I feel like I really can't talk about it with RL friends because they are doing just as much if not more than I am and coasting along beautifully.

So you other moms/parents... how do you do it? What am I missing? lol Do you ever feel stretched so thin you think you must be see through?


bizzy said...

You are so not alone. Ugh. I haven't just been bored for about 20 years.

Chicka said...

We just do what we can do. Easter/Dyngus Day is going to be hellacious for us. We're going to be popping from venue to venue from 10 a.m. until midnight or so. (The kids will go home about 7 p.m. but I'm headed out with the older dancers in our group.)

We have Taekwondo four days a week between us (I'm just now going back after a four month leave due to surgery). Kasia (10) has TKD demo team, and now has picked up Monday Polish dance practice (just for six weeks to learn a special new dance). Both girls have AWANA on Wednesdays (like church-related Girl Scouts sort of). Friday night is Polish dance practice. I'm a founding member, so we really have to be there if at all possible. Sundays we usually have performances at least once or twice a month.

It's a LOT. I work at home, mostly while they're at school. My husband sleeps days/works nights on a wonky 2 on, 2 off, 3 on schedule. Then it rotates the next week to 2 off, 2 on, 3 off. Weird, huh?

Such is our life.

We have had to decide between a few things and Kasia had to choose to give up STORM team (Super Team of Role Models) at TKD and just do demo and her regular Master's Club stuff. It was just too much and she was smart enough to say, "Mom, this is what I have to do. I just want to be ten." (I never push her to do any of this stuff.)

We do the best we can. And when something has to give, sometimes we have to sit down and write out the pros adn cons of doing certain activities. If worse comes to worse (and it has), we pull straws or flip a coin.

Chicka said...

Egads. Sorry for the epic novel I wrote.

The Smiths said...

I struggle with this every day, too. And I don't talk about it with other parents I know either. You have to decide for yourself and your family what works. The culture will tell you that your kids will be somehow shortchanged if they don't get to do absolutely everything. Don't buy it.

I cannot keep up with other parents I know. Can not do it. Had to face facts. If you are tired and/or crabby, or your kids are, that will tell you what you need to do.

I can tell when Mari is maxed out. We have to pass up many cool opportunities, but she needs time to play and time to not be doing something. She has dance 3 times a week, which is walking the line of being too much.

I like the pros and cons idea above. That can make things clear. Scale back until you feel relief. Then you can always add something back if you feel you made a mistake.

Dayngr said...

I know it's not that much but some of it is the timing of the activities and I think I need to work on time management. I really feel inferior compared to some of the Super Moms I know and I don't know why I'm having such a hard time of it all.

We're always comparing ourselves to other moms when in reality they are probably comparing themselves to us - or some other mom. Things are not always as they seem. The person who seems to have it all together as a mom may be falling apart in other areas and vice versa. I know just from reading lots of blogging moms that the majority of them never blog about anything but the good times. Pretty unrealistic if you ask me since no one's life is always sunshine and roses - it's just that's what they allow us to see.

The fact that you write, are a mom and run a business tells me you've got so much more going for you than you are giving yourself credit for. You're doing great and I bet the person hardest on you is you.