Saturday, June 06, 2009

Inability to deal with stress

It is interesting to be faced with a flaw we didn't realize we had. I tend to thing I'm a fairly strong, stoic person. Can you say DENIAL? I know you could.

Man it stings to be so wrong. I haven't even had that bad of a day. This is how it all went down...

Hit the grocery store which is always kinda tiring, IMO.

Had to drop the hammer on the kids for constantly breaking the rules. I hated that. I hate feeling like the bad guy even when they basically drove me to the bad guy store and bought the outfit for me. Then after they were in for the night they tried to weasel more perks out of me. ARGH!

The dog barking at everything, every knock, every movement out the window... it HAS to stop. Her bark is brain piercing and sets me on edge faster than anything.

I got my first two orders through my new site. YAY! But then... "omg I have to do 6 toys and find the right socks for them and have them perfect" set in and I started feeling overwhelmed.

Chris will be home in 24 hours and the house needs to be cleaned and organized. And then I start feeling panicky about all the stuff we have to get done during the times he is home. And he is really tired when he is home so I often feel like his weeks home, which I first thought would be like time off for me, are even more stressful than the weeks he is gone.

The dog is STILL not figuring out the house training thing. I do not think she gives a shit. If we manage to get her out when she feels like going that's fine but if not it doesn;t bother her to go right on the floor. She esp. can't be trusted near carpet. So we are "tomato staking" her right now... leash on and with a person 24/7 or crated. So I go in my room and Teagan had her leash on the doorknob, went to get water and left her alone on my carpet... yep you guessed it. At least it was only pee.

That was my last straw, I was on the phone with Chris and I yelled at the kids and dog (BAD MOM!) and shut myself in my room and got all teary. Yes, there are some um, hormone issues going on right now too but seriously I HATE that I am this shakable. Ugh, it may well be time for happy pills because I'm not sure how I will do when/if the time comes that Chris isn't just gone for 7 days but maybe 14 or 28.

Now I have to try to find some bit of happy and perky and get ready to do INUIY in 2 hours. Or at least tap into the bitchy side of it all instead of the whiny. lol


L. 'Ailina Laranang said...

Hey, I'm the last person to give advice on dealing with stress, but I do recognize that brand of pain.

Just yesterday, I was in major meltdown mode. Here's what my sister told me:

Take it easy. Do something soothing. Make it a priority and see what happens. If your child were suffering and you knew what to do, you would prioritize it appropriately. Attend your inner child! Prioritizing your healing for today may mean enlisting the children. Don't protect them from your "state." Be honest with them about your state of mind and go take care of it.

For me, "soothing" means painting, writing, taking a hot bath, taking a walk.

You're creative, too. I hope you're able to make that time for yourself to decompress. You're entitled to it.

Sarah said...

for the barking get either that citronella collar or bitter apple spray and spray a little cotton ball and put it in her mouth everytime she barks. which ever is cheaper.

for the peeing, I wouldnt normally say this but maybe try to train her to the pee pads.??? I would also watch the amt of water she is getting. I know its hot there and that matters so call the vet before you do that. we were told by ours to limit water at first bc a bored pup will drink too much.

sorry Vee, I hope today is bettah!


Cassie said...

Awwww, I'm sorry you're struggling! Would now be a good time for me to remind you I said NO DOG! LOL!

My kids push me too and I hate it. I think it's part of growing up. They are testing their boundaries and it's your job to make sure they are firmly in place. Don't be so hard on yourself, V.

Venus said...

I know, Cassie! NO DOG. But I do adore her. I just get frustrated.. it's totally another kid. A furry toddler. lol

Merlot said...

Grocery shopping IS exhausting. Just doing that one thing in a day makes me feel like I shouldn't have to do anything else LOL.